Personal Documents
by mass.convulsion
Summary: Between jobs, the boys get bored and while Sam leaves to get coffee, Dean finds a Personal Documents folder on his laptop. Unable to resist temptation, he finds Sammys journal entries. What will they reveal?
1. Chapter 1

**Personal Documents**

By Terri

Disclaimer: You know the drill.

A/N: This one was just a-floating around my head. Nothing ground-breaking, just something I thought was worth sharing.

"I'm gonna go across the road and get a coffee," Sam said, shrugging a jacket over his white button-up shirt. "Want one?"

"No thanks," Dean said. Sam left.

They were, once again, in a crappy motel room. Between jobs, life was boring for the boys, and they were searching for the next gig. Dean was currently sitting at a small, road dining table, searching the internet for anything dodgy. Sam had been looking through newspapers, having gotten sick of the laptop and its bright screen. Dean was finding nothing interesting and without Sam's encouragement, he was getting bored. He minimised the search page to see if Sam had any decent games. No.

_How boring, Sam, _Dean thought.

Suddenly, he noticed a desktop item. _Personal Documents_. Dean paused. He knew he shouldn't look, but … oh well! He double-clicked the folder. There were several sub-folders. _Pictures, Letters, Resumes … Journal._

"That looks interesting …" Dean muttered.

Inside the _Journal _folder was an incredible amount of Word Documents, all named with the date they were saved. Dean clicked one at random.

"_College was rather boring today. Although I have an assignment due next week, I'm going out with Jessica tomorrow night for Halloween. I'm not really that interested, but Jess wants to go. I'm still shopping for rings … I need it to be perfect. I'm really nervous and excited … I can't imagine life without Jess. I love the girl just too much!"_

Not wanting to get into that, Dean closed that entry and brought up a more recent one.

"_Dean and I are working on a new gig. I think we're after a Tibetan Thought-Form – a Tulpa. There's a pair of boys who have put a description of a spirit haunting a house – as well as a picture of a meditative symbol – on their stupid website … it's annoying. These kids could go so far. They're geekier than me … they're smart, but so stupid!"_

Dean laughed. Sam had the most bizarre logic sometimes. Dean again closed the entry and scrolled down to the most recent one. It had been made that day. Interest peaking, Dean opened it up.

"_Dad and I are between jobs again. We're having trouble finding anything suspicious. I haven't bought this up with Dean, but I get the horrible feeling that this is the calm before the storm. My nightmares have been getting worse, but they aren't premonitions – just nightmares. They're mostly about mum and Jess, asking me why. It scares me._

_The reason I haven't told Dean is because he's been acting odd lately. He wont talk about anything but work … not even chicks. I wish I knew what he was thinking. And I'd love to tell him how I feel, just for someone to talk to. I miss Jess, I could always talk to her. I'm lonely, scared … and worst of all, I feel unloved. Stupid, I know. But dad isn't around, and when he is we fight. Dean wont talk to me … it's pathetic, but I'm not even sure he loves me. I know we're guys … but we're also brothers. I miss when we were kids and he would always talk to me. I could say anything and he wouldn't think I was a girl for it. He'd just hug me and I'd be ok. God, I wouldn't dream of trying to hug Dean now. He's so scared of showing emotion._

_Truthfully, I'm a little scared of having a breakdown here. There's only so much I can hold back. Without Jess, and the way Dean is now … I just don't think I'm coping."_

"Hey, find something interesting?" Sam said, walking through the door with a large, take-out coffee in his hand. Dean looked up in shock, closing the entry.

"Nah, it's all crap." Dean said. "You know, I was thinking … let's take a break."

Sam sat across from Dean and raised his eyebrows.

"What? We've earned it, and no gigs have popped up. Let's go rock it out somewhere fun."

"Like where?" Sam groaned.

"Wherever you want, I guess."

Sam paused. "Riiiiight …"

They sat in silence for a moment.

"You know, Sammy … I was also thinking about something else."

"Mmm?" Sam said through his coffee.

"Are you ok?" he looked Sam in the eye. "Like, really ok."

"I'm fine Dean, why?" Sam asked.

"I'm your brother, can't I just ask?"

Sam looked a little surprised. He wondered, _where did all this come from?_

Dean watched Sam's uncertain look. _I'm going to be better,_ he thought.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I know I said it was a oneshot last chapter, but I had a few demands to write a second. This really is it though, no more! lol Enjoy.

**Chapter Two**

Dean woke up early. That didn't happen often, but then again, it wasn't often that he would spend a day doing nothing that would tire him out. The day before had been lazy. Sam agreed to take some time off hunting, although he still seemed suspicious. Dean rolled over and looked at his brother. He was sleeping completely still – too still. Dean knew something was wrong … but what could he do?

He rolled out of bed and padded heavily to the bathroom. He had a quick shower and changed into a pair of jeans and a black sweat shirt. He came back out, glanced at Sam and went outside to grab the paper from beside the door. He sat down at the table he'd worked at the morning before and read through it. It was all crap.

Suddenly, Sam moaned. Dean looked up and instinctively walked over to his brother. Sam moved his arm from across his face and revealed a pained expression. Dean sat on the bed. He could hear Sam whispering, but only just.

"_No … not Dean … Jess, don't take Dean … please, Jess … mum …"_

Sam began to wriggle around a bit in discomfort. His whispers got a little louder, until suddenly he sat up, yelling out "NO!"

"Sam!" Dean said, putting a hand on his brother's shoulder. Sam was panting heavily and stared straight ahead for a moment, before he turned and looked at Dean. His eyes were full of tears and he looked almost as if he was about to cry. He looked away.

"Hey, Sammy, it's ok," Dean said. He pulled his brother into a hug. Surprised, Sam stiffened, then warmed into the hug. He just sat there, his head on his brothers shoulder, and tried to get his composure back.

"You're alright, Sam," Dean said, putting his hand on the back of Sam's head. Sam took a deep breath and then moved away.

"I'm going for a shower," He said. He stood up and headed straight for the bathroom, not even looking at Dean. With a sigh, Dean went back to his paper. He picked up the motel phone and asked if he could get a couple of coffees delivered. Five minutes later, the motel assistant came to his door with two large coffees. Dean sat them on the table and continued reading. The shower stopped but it wasn't until another ten minutes after that Sam came out.

"Hey, are you alright?" Dean asked. Sam nodded. "I got us some coffee." Dean said.

Sam sat across from Dean and took his coffee, taking a long mouthful. Dean frowned. That must have burned, considering Dean was still sipping his cautiously.

"Here, you can read this … it's all crap though." Dean said, pushing the newspaper towards Sam. He took it and opened it up. Dean leant back on his chair and stared off into space.

"You know, Sam … I wont bite you." Dean said.

Sam looked up questioningly.

"Well, you can talk to me."

Sam looked back down at the paper. "I know." He said.

"I hope so," Dean said. "Because I'm a bit worried about you."

"I'm fine, Dean." Sam said. Something in the paper had obviously caught his interested. Dean leant forwards. It was an article about the Lourve. Dean nearly laughed. Typical geek-boy!

"Hey … Dean … what are we going to do, while we're not working?" Sam said, still not looking up.

"Um, I don't know. Whatever you want to do." Dean said, hoping Sam didn't want to do something boring, or worse – educational.

Sam laughed. "Since when do you let me make the decisions?" he said honestly.

"I can't baby-sit you forever, you know," Dean said in a playful voice. "You gotta grow up eventually."

Sam looked up. "There's nowhere I really want to go."

"Well, I'll pick if you can't come up with something good." Dean threatened.

"Ok … well there's a sky diving article in here …" Sam said, equally as threatening.

Dean just stared for a moment. Sam laughed.

"Kidding, Dean! Jesus …"

"Alright, alright ..." Dean muttered. There was a long pause.

"Well, why don't we just randomly drive until we find something?" Sam asked.

Dean thought about it. "Yeah, why not … bo grab your stuff."

"What, now?" Sam asked, standing up.

"Like I said, why not?"

For the next few minutes, the boys threw their small amount of possessions into their bags.

"Here –" Dean said throwing the car keys at Sam. "I'll go pay for the room, you bring the car around to the front."

Sam just stared, but Dean ignored it and walked out. When he came out of the main building, he saw Sam standing beside the Impala, having moved it, and held the keys out for Dean. Dean smiled at Sam but walked straight past him and got into the passenger seat. Sam walked around the car and opened the driver side door, but paused.

"Come on, Sam, we don't have all day!" Dean said.

"Dean … we have as long as we want. Why am I driving?" he said, and Dean knew he was making his brother suspicious.

"Because I'm a lazy-ass and don't want to."

Sam shrugged and got in. He turned on the ignition and Metalica started playing automatically. Dean sang along as Sam directed the car to the interstate. Hesitantly, he turned down the music.

"Whoa, what are you doing?" Dean said, sitting up straight.

"Well, driver picks the music." Sam said, testing the water.

Dean stared at him. He'd forgotten about that. Ah, what the hell!

"Hmm … alright. What do you want to listen to?" Dean said.

Sam laughed and pulled over.

"Dean, what the hell?" he said, turning the car off.

He looked at Sam blankly.

"What?"

"What's all this about? Taking time off hunting? Letting be drive?" Sam turned to face Dean. "This isn't like you."

"Sure it is! I'm just in a nice mood." Dean said, smiling. He knew by Sam's raised eyebrow that he didn't believe that for a second. Dean sighed.

"What do you want me to do, man? Find us another job? Make stabs at you while I listen to what I want and you get stuck sitting here again? Because if this is all too much for you, we can do that!" Dean said, obviously getting cranky.

"No, I want to know what made you start this! It happened over night!" Sam exclaimed. "And not being able to find jobs? Dean I know you found something on the computer the other night! I saw the look on your face when I walked in! Why would you hide a job from me?"

Dean groaned.

"Ok, you wanna know what's going on? I didn't find a job. I found your journal."

Sam looked at him blankly. "You what?"

"Yeah, I was getting bored so I had a look through your computer for games and I found your personal folders … look, I'm sorry man! But I read the entry you made that day."

Sam laughed bitterly and got out of the car, slamming the door. Dean let it slide. He got out too. Sam was leaning against the car, his back to Dean.

"Sammy, I'm sorry. I know what you've been dreaming. I know what you've been thinking and it's not true."

Sam suddenly spun around.

"What, Dean? What isn't true?"

"The … any of it! The dreams – they're just dreams! And about me … about, you know, the – the …" Dean stammered.

Sam smiled sadly. "Forget it." He sighed. He got back into the drivers seat and started the ignition. As soon as Dean was in the car, he drove off.

"Sammy, I'm sorry –" Dean started. He stopped … he knew what he had to say, it was just hard …

"Look, I pick on you because you're my brother. I don't mean anything by it! And sure, we get cranky at each other, but we spend all our time together, and … and I do love you, Sam." Dean said. He looked up from his hands to see tears in his brother's eyes.

"I shouldn't have to say it. You're my brother Sam, you should just know this." He said softly.

Sam sighed, taking a long, shaky breath. "I know. But since Jess-" he stopped. For a moment, he just stared straight ahead, and Dean thought the conversation was over.

"I love you too, Dean." Sam said, with much more ease than Dean had.

Dean nodded to show he'd heard. They were silent again, before Sam looked over at Dean, his eyes still watery but his expression teasing.

"So about that music …"

Dean groaned. He picked up his box of tapes and began listing them off.

"Metalica, BOC, Alice Cooper, Motorhead, Guns n Roses, Black Sabboth –"

"No, don't like it." Sam said. Dean stared with his mouth open.

"I will take away your driving rights!" Dean threatened. "… what are you doing?"

Sam parked the car on the side of the street outside a music shop. Sam walked in a picked up his wallet from the centre console and smiled at Dean, stepping out of the car.

"No taking the drivers seat!" Sam said, shutting the door a little more carefully this time.

Dean watched as Sam entered the shop and began looking around. What had he gotten himself into?

Sam came back a few minutes later with a disc-men … it had a tape attachment. Without a word, Sam put the tape into the cars stereo and held up some CDs at Dean. He cringed.

"You aren't serious, are you?"

THE END


End file.
